childlike.

the picture above is a picture i took of a beautiful little girl that is the neighbor of four kids that i babysit for from time to time. she is so simple and full of joy. its time to bring that back in style in my opinion...

ever gone through the motions and day-to-day stuff and then wake up one day and wonder what the heck you are doing with your life? that's me everyday i think haha. i have issues with making changes happen in my life. i want to see change and can picture my life with the change but, don't ever know what the first step is. do we ever know the first step though? is it ever clear cut? is it ever written flat out on a piece of paper and mailed to you every few months so you stay on track with the plan for your life? if were that easy, i wouldn't be writing this blog....

just take a step. slowly and simply chisel your way through life and decisions and emotions and relationships. stay simple and live joyfully for God even if only for the reason that He has given you another day.

hope to start writing again regularly. its such an outlet to speak whats on my heart and i need that right now.

praying for you,
k

something new to grasp.

i have never understood why one single person could hurt another person and not even flinch in their step. why one can breeze through the rest of life without even feeling an ounce of the pain they may have caused another human. how repeat offenders just act and then keep right on moving to their next victim. how some dont learn from their actions and want to make a change in their life to no longer hurt another.

and if you have been sinned against...well, it hurts. and we sometimes tend to cling to that sin for ourselves and the sinner. we carry the sinner, the sin and our hurt on our shoulders. why we do this i have begun to question.

after a great CharloteOne (www.charlotteone.org) this week i have really started looking at forgiveness and sin in a new light. we are in a series right now called "teach us how" and its about learning how to pray. we have been breaking down the Lord's prayer and this week we hacked into "forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us." (Luke 11) this part of the passage can really hit home to most people. we all sin and with that being true we have most likely been sinned against at one time or another. going through that pain hurts. take a step back however and see that we ALL sin, we ALL make mistakes and we ALL disappoint...imagine the pain and the hurt God went through in order for us to be forgiven. can we not have the decency to forgive others in our small scale problems on this earth? should we even be surprised when others sin against us? i seem to think not after charlotteone. especially if we look at it from the angle that we ALL sin. susie, billy, tommy and i ALL sin. no matter what each sin is, we are all in the same boat.

im talking to myself here too. i always am. i have learned very recently that if you will forgive and look only forward to your future and up to God the pain and the hurt will take a back seat and eventually be gone. we can not hold onto it. and as dave put it on tuesday we can not choke the other person or the situation. we have to let go and forgive them just as God forgives us. yeah i know that some situations seem harder than others..."they really hurt me", "they said some things about me they shouldnt have", "after all that, this is what they do to me and they seem fine." i get it. i do. that sucks. ive been in that hurt before. and im not in any way trying to lessen the fact that it does hurt. please understand that. even after you forgive them, it will still hurt for a little while. but taking that step can really set you on a path toward moving on and leaving the situation behind you.

i still dont understand why one single person can hurt another person and not even flinch in their step. but im not surprised by it anymore and i choose to forgive because Christ forgave us. will you choose that too?

praying for you,
k

.numb.

so i am reading blue like jazz right now and know that i am really late in doing so. it seems that everyone i have talked to lately has already read it and recommended the book to me as well. let me be honest by saying that i think i read the first two pages about 8 times before actually delving into it. tonight i decided that i was in a reading mood and so grabbed a blanket and headed out to the back deck and began to read the first page....for the ninth time. and since i have decided to be truthful from the beginning here...i am only on the second page of the second chapter however i am taking a break to process what i have read so far. donald miller's writing is amazing. i am in love with the book so far and as you read above i am not very far into it at all. it can only get better from here...

"the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. this is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. if he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent the heart from engaging God."

pause. read it again. take a deep breath. read it again if needed. could this have been said any better? if you have any ideas of how to put this in better terms then let me know...

i cant lie at this point. i am a creature of habit at times. church on sunday mornings, church on wednesday nights, buffalo wild wings on tuesdays, brixx on wednesdays, favorite show on thursday night and dinner with the family...the list could go on really. arent we all to a certain extent creatures of habit? i mean we do brush our teeth everyday right? its a habit to get dressed in the mornings right? most of us eat three meals a day right? but have we made a habit of church?

we make sure to go to church at all the right times and therefore become used to hearing about God. we are numb. numb to the joys and pleasures in a life of knowing and having a personal relationship with God. the devil basks in this. its the greatest feeling for him to know that we are like robots, going through the motions of religion.

i dont want to be numb anymore. i dont want to please the devil. i dont want to waste time. i dont want to go through the motions. i dont want to be dragged through life. i dont want time to move through me.

thank you God for words that you speak through donald miller. words that open eyes and speak to hearts.

i hope to share more with you as i read through the book. pray that God will continue to speak directly to me and break down some walls in my life in order to understand Him more. i desire to know God more so that i can love God more.


feel free to post prayer requests and thoughts under the comments tab.
praying for you,
k

quick.

just a quick note to ask for your prayers again. my friend crystal's dad passed away this past Saturday. the funeral was tuesday and as it begins to quiet down at their house, i would like to ask you all to pray for strength and peace for this wonderful family.

thanks guys
prayin for you,
k

roots.

i checked out merriam webster online today which i frequently do. i love going and checking definitions of simple things. my wandering into the world of words began because i changed my above picture today. roots.

when i typed roots into the search box many definitions popped up. one dealing with plants, one dealing with teeth, one dealing with math, one with phonetics, and one with music. certain words of each different definition struck me however. "originates, within, anchorage, support, attached, end, basis"

i was at the park recently, surrounded by trees. i noticed one that was at the edge of the lake but instead of being over the edge and grasping for land to hold to, it was planted just so in the ground with roots that hit a dead end at the sight of the water. they just stopped. at first glance i just thought of how ugly it was. brown root on the brown dirt, with a dead end. and then in actuality as i sat on the bench studying it i was realized that it really was ugly. stick with me here i have a point...

i got up from the bench and walked on down the outline of the lake and noticed another tree. this one wasn't exactly planted perfectly into the ground with roots extending from it hitting a dead end. this tree was out in the water. i know crazy huh? ha. but instead of just floating out there alone, its roots were clasped to the edge of land it could get to. they were reaching out and bedded deep into the brown dirt.

what tree are you like right now? are you "just so". planted into the ground and playing the role you are supposed to play? going through the motions of a "tree" but, having your roots hit a dead end and not being rooted in something more: Christ? or are you over the edge? walking on water? having the faith to trust that you will be able to grasp that land and be rooted in something greater: Christ?

don't get me wrong, if you feel as if you are "just so" and you are rooted in dead end things, i'm not saying you are an ugly person. its just that God wants to see us over the edge sometimes. stepping out in faith. walking on the water. keeping our eyes focused on Him. He wants to watch us as we grasp for Him and long to be rooted in Him. if we are rooted in the things of this world, we are headed for a dead end. if we are rooted in Christ, we are headed for never ending peace, joy, and love. which will we chose?


if ever you feel as if im talking at you. don't. im spilling out my thoughts about my life. if they coincide with your life and make you think a little, im glad. on a little bit of a different note i have a few prayer requests. usually i dont post those on here. not to say that my past requests were not important but, these have been pressing on the hearts of many over the past few weeks.

my friend's dad is in the hospital. he had surgery last week but, has had complications. he has been sick for a while now and is not doing well at all.
-pray for the taylor family

my friend left for nicaragua this past sunday. he is staying until august 1st to follow God's call on missions. he seems to be getting settled in pretty well, he has been on quite a few trips before this one so he has great connections already.
-pray for evan dixon (to stay updated go to evandixon.com)

sorry this has been so long. a lot is on my heart right now. God is so beautiful.

praying for you,
k

its a new year.

a few things have inspired this blog.
i am not much of a reader even though i would love to be. however, for some reason today i was looking through the books that my mom has out on a table in our living room....blue like jazz, my sisters keeper, everything counts, unchristian...and then i came to one on the very bottom entitled "Dangerous Surrender" then underneath that it says "What happens when you say yes to God." now i could honestly stop right there because just the title of the book screamed to me "READ ME". and just as i had expected, when i went on to read the inside cover of it i realized that i want to do this in my own life. i want to surrender my life and my will to Him in 2009, more than i ever have.

we all have a will for our lives. maybe its to grow up and be a doctor, actress, or famous singer. whatever it is we all have it. i have met people that have their entire lives planned out. even down to the hour. they will go to school, graduate, become a teacher, find their true love in college (their junior year to be exact), get married when they are 25 yrs old (September 13, 2013), have their first child when they are 26, name her Stephanie Marie, and begin a strict schedule of sleeping, feeding and changing the day she comes home. wow. im out of breath just thinking about it. its tiring trying to plan out your own life. and we dont even have to because it has already been planned out for us.

God has a will for our lives. it may not be to grow up and be a doctor, actress or famous singer. it may not even be to grow up become a teacher, marry Joe Smith and have a boy named Stephen Matthew...or was it Stephanie Marie? maybe God has called you to be a missionary in another country and not marry until you are 32. whatever it is, its not up to us to decide. He has already planned it for us. He is the greatest event planner/coordinator there is. surrender to Him and let His plans fall into place.

does your plan and His match up?
i dont know even know if i can answer that. my desire for 09 is to be able to answer yes to that question. i want to be able to tell people for a fact that i am living in God's will. it would be such a priviledge to say that He was, is and will be my event planner.

all that to say...i am going to read that book i saw on my moms table. ask me about it sometime, it will actually make me follow through with reading it.



the last thing that i wanted to share with you is a song by Charlie Hall. check it out sometime if you have not heard of it. i will try to put it on here so you can listen to it that way. the song is called New Year and i love it. i think you will see why...

NEW YEAR BY CHARLIE HALL
My heart beats like a drum, flying up with the sun
I grab Your hand again
Renovated with life, my eyes again bright
And You are radiant

Where hope can hold my hand of sorrow
And we can walk into tomorrow
Where peace is found in troubled days
And the joy of Jesus carries pain

This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine, lift up your eyes
This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine and point the way to God's great life

I'm held in a place, a beautiful space
Where heaven meets the earth
My heart opens wide and the Father pours life
Deep inside my soul

Where hope can hold my hand of sorrow
And we can walk into tomorrow
Where peace is found in troubled days
And the joy of Jesus carries pain

This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine, lift up your eyes
This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine and point the way to God's great life


praying for you as 2009 begins a new year of surrender,
k

you plus God equals enough.

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

-Leo Tolstoy

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.

-C.S. Lewis

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.

-Henry David Thoreau

you plus God equals enough.

-Zig Ziglar

i thought i would start you off today with a few random quotes that have really grown on me. i love to read short snippets of other peoples minds. its a fun hobby.

the first quote really gets to me though. for many reasons, this time of year floods everyones desires to get the latest "new" or "cool" item for Christmas. i mean even i want an ipod, not only because i am a music addict but, because i feel a little behind everyone else for not having one already. my friends and i were talking last night about how one of them wanted the iphone because he just learned how to text and needs to have the keyboard to text faster and easier. my sister, mom and i went to the mall this past saturday and spit out ten reasons why we needed every item in buckle, forever 21, dilliards, and the list of stores could go on. whatever your desire for this holiday season be, whether it be an ipod, a car, the iphone, a shirt or a $200 pair of awesome jeans...throw it aside for a moment.

you plus God equals enough.

did it catch you off guard too? when i read this i thought..."ha no...i need an ipod so i can listen to worship music more, no...i need my car to take me to my job and to school so i can better myself, no...i need my cell phone so that i can call Leanna and see how her day is going, no.no.no is what i kept saying in my head for the next few minutes as i sat there. then realizing NO i dont NEED my car, phone, ipod, etc....i NEED Christ. He is ALL i need. He is enough. He fully satisfies all my needs. He is my worship music, He is the only thing i need to better myself with, He is the only one i NEED to call everyday to see how His day is going. we add all this other stuff in life just to complicate it more. simplify. turn to Christ if you are feeling empty. turn to Christ if you are feeling joy. He is enough and has created all these things and feelings in you to begin with. He is enough. He is enough. He is enough. i dont think i could say it enough.

i sit here typing this possibly making you think i have had this huge epiphany. and i have. however, acting on this epiphany that is in my heart and mind will be hard. the society we live in today makes us feel a like complete loser when we cant get the next best thing. and i am not left out of those feelings as well...it has all plagued our minds at one time or another. maybe you are past it and are completely satisfied with what you have....or maybe you are like the rest of us who...if you could just get_______________, for me it is a stupid ipod....then you would be happy. the next best material thing can not and will not bring us full happiness and satisfaction. only Christ can do that for us. i challenge you as this holiday season approaches to really let that quote seep into your soul. will you let the ways of this world get to you? or will you let God be enough?

you plus God equals enough.